"It's that time of the year again..."
"...ringing in the new year..."
"...goodbye 2008..."
"... what's your new year resolution?"
"... and how long will you be able to keep that resolution..."
"...what's the scene, yaar?" (with a typical Punjabi twang for just the right effect)
... these and many more cliched statements become de rigeur at "this time of the year"... as you venture out in the chilly air, nipping at your nose and ears, numbing your fingers and toes, you can catch snippets of certain key words sprinkled generously in conversations like sugar and coloured frosting on your favourite warmed-up, soft doughnut...words like "Christmas tree, passes, parties, farmhouse, outfits, couple-entry-only, Goa" become the only connectors in each conversation you "happen to overhear" and you catch yourself uttering them frequently enough...a new year will creep upon you silently or jiggle itself conspicuously in your face, depending on how discrete or dramatic you wish to make the occasion... somehow it gives us the impression (or the hope?) that a different digit in the unit's place while writing the date would gently whistle in a pleasant wind of change for us all... our lives, loves, jobs, family, relationships would all race steadily on an upward trajectory of satisfaction and success... new year celebrations bring to us all the shimmer of confetti-like hope trapped inside the pressured balloons of our lives, pin-struck at JUST the right time all across the time-zone to release that glittery tinsel, which is such a necessity in our stressed-out lives... Do things change after January, the 1st each year? Do people turn over a new leaf? Do frustrating situations in our lives miraculously alter for our benefit? I doubt it... all the same, the forthcoming new year brings a smile to our faces, a bounce to our steps, an excuse to stay up all night partying with people we love most, an urge to take an hour off for that much-postponed pedicure, a promise to ourselves to change at least one unacceptable part of ourselves in the future (mostly broken within the first week, but at least we face up to the challenge!)... it brings hope, strength and unadulterated joy... ok, maybe not totally unadulterated, considering drinks and cocktails are on the house!!!
So, six-and-a-half hours before I proceed to hug everyone within a 7-foot radius of my own dancing (albeit unsteadily) self... six-and-a-half hours before I scream out the old year and "ring in the new" in drunken revelry... six-and-a-half hours before I shamelessly kiss that someone special (whole-heartedly attempting to be discrete, in vain)... six-and-a-half hours before we officially bid goodbye to yet another calendar year and spend the rest of the month trying to get used to writing 2009 and not 2008 in all our communications, I raise my fictitious glass up high and cheer on every single year that has passed by and every last week of December, which manages to transform the sea of usually frustrated humanity into the rarely seen pleasant, joyful, forgiving, hopeful, celebrating, self-indulgent individuals... cheers :)
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
:)
happyyyyy... great Sunday... bought a "Delhi" coffee mug from Happily Unmarried... so kicked... will copy the text soon... just as record, coz it's so hilarious... then had some beer and some rum-n-coke... and my tentative client meeting on Monday morning 10AM has been pushed forward to post-lunch...how much better can a Sunday get?
:) ... a late-starting Monday is the best way for a week to begin... :)
yayyyy... pledged not to type any sense this time... so just gonna leave with another yelp of extreme satisfaction... yayyyy...
:) ... a late-starting Monday is the best way for a week to begin... :)
yayyyy... pledged not to type any sense this time... so just gonna leave with another yelp of extreme satisfaction... yayyyy...
Friday, December 26, 2008
great expectations...
The most frequent cause of each historical downfall has been the possession of unreasonably high expectations... the Don Quixote-esque fantasies.... the misty dreams that will never culminate into tangible reality. Mythology has a host of examples that can strengthen the strong statement made previously... In the Ramayana, Ravana's sister wanted to romance Lord Ram, he cut off her nose (metaphorically, in my opinion), it led to the burning of Lanka and the demise of Ravana's rule... In Greek mythology, Hades, the feared God of the Underworld, kidnapped Persephone, the enchanting daughter of Zeus and Demeter (Goddess of the harvests), with a similar inclination. Demeter was so devastated that she transformed all fertile land to barren fields. After six months, Hades was forced to send back Persephone, albeit temporarily, after which the harvest season resumed on earth once more. This is how the Greeks have explained the phenomenon of seasons in their mythological texts. Of course, the fantasy of possessing Persephone did not destroy Lord Hades... but we mustn't forget, Hades was the ruler of the Underworld and a God in his own right... were he a mere mortal, I shudder to think what Zeus and Demeter would have done to him... one lightning bolt from the former, and Hades would have quite literally been toast!
History, too, is fraught with supportive evidence of this fact...if Adolf Hitler had excluded the erstwhile USSR from his formidable plans of victory, he might have been able to ensure that the rest of Europe would converse only in German even in the 21st century...Alexander the Great, too, died in the midst of his ambitious conquests among exhausted troops and a mutiny against him...
Closer to the current day and age... George Bush attacking the Muslim world (Afghanistan...perhaps justified...Iraq???) and subsequently (it took an extra term in office... I seriously wonder why!) was forced to abdicate his seat of tyrannical and absolute power...
Mythology, history, international politics, business... when they all so vehemently fortify my argument that unreasonably gigantic expectations are the last great feelings to be experienced prior to an imminent ruin, why should we encourage ourselves to harbour such emotions... the steeper the peak, the sharper the fall... and to add to the alarming speed of sudden descent, the more effort one devotes to flail one's limbs about in desperate attempts to take off once again, the more smug and derisive are the expressions on people's faces that you swoosh past on your way down...taunts-jeers-hopelessness-crash-and-burn!!!
History, too, is fraught with supportive evidence of this fact...if Adolf Hitler had excluded the erstwhile USSR from his formidable plans of victory, he might have been able to ensure that the rest of Europe would converse only in German even in the 21st century...Alexander the Great, too, died in the midst of his ambitious conquests among exhausted troops and a mutiny against him...
Closer to the current day and age... George Bush attacking the Muslim world (Afghanistan...perhaps justified...Iraq???) and subsequently (it took an extra term in office... I seriously wonder why!) was forced to abdicate his seat of tyrannical and absolute power...
Mythology, history, international politics, business... when they all so vehemently fortify my argument that unreasonably gigantic expectations are the last great feelings to be experienced prior to an imminent ruin, why should we encourage ourselves to harbour such emotions... the steeper the peak, the sharper the fall... and to add to the alarming speed of sudden descent, the more effort one devotes to flail one's limbs about in desperate attempts to take off once again, the more smug and derisive are the expressions on people's faces that you swoosh past on your way down...taunts-jeers-hopelessness-crash-and-burn!!!
Thursday, December 25, 2008
shut shop and move on...
52 out of the 59 people I meet on a regular basis are people I don't like/approve of/would want around me... out of the remaining 7, I can just about tolerate 4... and out of those 4, when I move on to the next phase of my life (school-college-MBA-work) or the next location of my life (Delhi-TN-Isb-TN-Ldh-Delhi-Shillong-Pune-Delhi) I know I'll keep in touch with only 2... It's strange that I can't wait to get onto the next logical step, to experience new feelings, to meet new people... yet I'm so awful at keeping in touch with old friends, acquaintances, and people with whom I shared few but fantastic memories... It's christmas day and I'm home, my closest friend isn't in the country (on vacation) and usually this day would be dedicated to decorating her tree, watching repeats on TV, smoking, baking the best shepherd's pie and cake (generously poured out rum) and generally bitching about how life doesn't change from one Xmas to the next (... or how MUCH it changes???!!!!)... now she's gone and I'm home wondering what to do with my whole day until I meet someone in the evening for dinner-and-daroo...
It's at times like these (when solitude gets to my mind) that I begin to wonder, where ARE the people with whom I spent the best years of my student life? Where ARE the girls I lived with, giggled with, shopped with, swore that we'd always be there for each other? where ARE my "crazy-huge-self-exploding" circle of friends and extended friends and friends of extended friends? maybe despite my self-proclaimed belief of being "social" or "an extrovert", deep down, I shudder to keep in touch with 57 of the 59 people I meet... I can't imagine going on a weekend trip with the pseudos I come across on a daily basis... perhaps my process of elimination is too stringent to qualify enough people in my "circle of trust"... perhaps if everyone qualified, the circle would transcend into a wire-mesh of chaos and escapism... I would never be able to handle them all, knowing very well that I disliked them so... or even felt indifferent towards their mere existence...
Do I push myself away from everyone because it's too much effort to keep in touch? Rarely do I call up my friends (birthdays)... it's usually a one-way process, based on their motivation to talk to me... I've lived in so many towns and cities, never stayed put for more than 3 years anywhere... it has rendered me flexible... too flexible to gain roots, I've gone with the flow so conveniently all through my life that now when I so desperately seek my bearings, I realize I've burnt most of my bridges by sheer indifference, turning my negligent back on people, just because my miniscule attention span didn't allow me to get too involved in my past! The nomadic way of life has made me just that... a nomad... set up shop, get the job done, shut shop and move on... don't ever look back, just keep on moving!
It's at times like these (when solitude gets to my mind) that I begin to wonder, where ARE the people with whom I spent the best years of my student life? Where ARE the girls I lived with, giggled with, shopped with, swore that we'd always be there for each other? where ARE my "crazy-huge-self-exploding" circle of friends and extended friends and friends of extended friends? maybe despite my self-proclaimed belief of being "social" or "an extrovert", deep down, I shudder to keep in touch with 57 of the 59 people I meet... I can't imagine going on a weekend trip with the pseudos I come across on a daily basis... perhaps my process of elimination is too stringent to qualify enough people in my "circle of trust"... perhaps if everyone qualified, the circle would transcend into a wire-mesh of chaos and escapism... I would never be able to handle them all, knowing very well that I disliked them so... or even felt indifferent towards their mere existence...
Do I push myself away from everyone because it's too much effort to keep in touch? Rarely do I call up my friends (birthdays)... it's usually a one-way process, based on their motivation to talk to me... I've lived in so many towns and cities, never stayed put for more than 3 years anywhere... it has rendered me flexible... too flexible to gain roots, I've gone with the flow so conveniently all through my life that now when I so desperately seek my bearings, I realize I've burnt most of my bridges by sheer indifference, turning my negligent back on people, just because my miniscule attention span didn't allow me to get too involved in my past! The nomadic way of life has made me just that... a nomad... set up shop, get the job done, shut shop and move on... don't ever look back, just keep on moving!
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Ode to the Old Monk... (dedicated to the hostel mania!)
The deep dark enigma
Within you stirs...
Contrary to popular belief,
You're a blessing in the disguise of a curse.
We drown our misery
In your warmth welcoming,
The sadness fades away,
The hurt loses its sting.
Your slender, narrow neck,
Your broad squarish base,
The ridges along the circumferance...
They all bring a smile to one's face!
The re-assuring waves of
Your mystic charms
Swirl slowly within
Like an enticing dance...
Some, it uplifts
To such a dizzying height,
Their heads swing, eyes glaze
Their 'spirits' have taken flight!
The heady aroma
When the cap is unscrewed
Can make my eyes go dreamy
And even chase away a PMSing mood...
So let's pour in the first peg
Over three cubes perfectly piled,
And be generous in our servings...
It's no fun when one's drink is mild!
Let's raise our glasses up high,
And toast this first one to the Old Monk so dear...
It tastes better than the uncleji-type whiskey...
And sure as hell better than beer!
To all the laughter that intertwined melodiously with the glass-and-ice clinking...
To all the melancholic times, when this magical spirit helped overcome the tears...
To all those bacchanalian nights that spilled over to the next day's drinking...
To all the friendship and camaraderie and slurred, giggly voices hissing "CHEERS!!!"
Within you stirs...
Contrary to popular belief,
You're a blessing in the disguise of a curse.
We drown our misery
In your warmth welcoming,
The sadness fades away,
The hurt loses its sting.
Your slender, narrow neck,
Your broad squarish base,
The ridges along the circumferance...
They all bring a smile to one's face!
The re-assuring waves of
Your mystic charms
Swirl slowly within
Like an enticing dance...
Some, it uplifts
To such a dizzying height,
Their heads swing, eyes glaze
Their 'spirits' have taken flight!
The heady aroma
When the cap is unscrewed
Can make my eyes go dreamy
And even chase away a PMSing mood...
So let's pour in the first peg
Over three cubes perfectly piled,
And be generous in our servings...
It's no fun when one's drink is mild!
Let's raise our glasses up high,
And toast this first one to the Old Monk so dear...
It tastes better than the uncleji-type whiskey...
And sure as hell better than beer!
To all the laughter that intertwined melodiously with the glass-and-ice clinking...
To all the melancholic times, when this magical spirit helped overcome the tears...
To all those bacchanalian nights that spilled over to the next day's drinking...
To all the friendship and camaraderie and slurred, giggly voices hissing "CHEERS!!!"
Friday, December 5, 2008
ranting!
a searing headache, a depressing day at work, and absolutely no plans for a Friday night make up the most toxic cocktail for a bad mood and inane ranting... and now that I'm lounging around on my couch, wearing my brightest PJs to cheer me up (neon green, if you please), I still don't feel too comforted... honestly I have no clue what I'm out to write tonight... there isn't much to say... this is why I have a constant need to talk to someone at all times except when I'm asleep, because if I give enough attention to the arbit thoughts swirling around in my head, I will ACTUALLY go wonky... not over-exaggerating here!
I seriously feel everyone needs a little therapy in their lives, if for nothing else, then to gain perspective... and since we are all such fantastic listeners, the ONLY way we'll actually take someone's advise is if we put in some money to hear it in the first place... 500 rupees an hour isn't too bad to be heard without prejudice, especially if at the end of the hour, someone actually comes back with a little honest truth (whether you like it or not)! I think out of most people I know, I need therapy a little bit more... the question still remains- do I need to be heard... or to listen?
We can always tread the comfortably numb middle-path and say, "neither... it's to start a dialogue"... the dialogue to be had, is NOT with you and the therapist... it's between you and yourself... and that's probably what scares me the most... the murkiness that lurks beneath the surface of my own head!
I seriously feel everyone needs a little therapy in their lives, if for nothing else, then to gain perspective... and since we are all such fantastic listeners, the ONLY way we'll actually take someone's advise is if we put in some money to hear it in the first place... 500 rupees an hour isn't too bad to be heard without prejudice, especially if at the end of the hour, someone actually comes back with a little honest truth (whether you like it or not)! I think out of most people I know, I need therapy a little bit more... the question still remains- do I need to be heard... or to listen?
We can always tread the comfortably numb middle-path and say, "neither... it's to start a dialogue"... the dialogue to be had, is NOT with you and the therapist... it's between you and yourself... and that's probably what scares me the most... the murkiness that lurks beneath the surface of my own head!
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